what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
