i was born a porn star she said
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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