please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
