hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
