I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm really busy with my period
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
