He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
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