next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
