oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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