Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
