is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
