He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
