How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
