I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
