There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
