So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
