flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
