We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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