it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize
