i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
