I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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