think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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