She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
