I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Oh god it's open bar.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize