Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize