Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
