Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
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