When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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