Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
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