I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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