just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
