I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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