wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
