Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
