I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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