please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Randomize
