i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
