I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
