ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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