1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
30 Tiny Celebrity Tattoos You’ll Want To Run Out And Copy ASAP
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.