don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
