I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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