He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
