The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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