She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
