I cockslap morals
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
