i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
