He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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