How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
