so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
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