you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
