i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
