If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
