I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
