sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
