Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Randomize
