I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize