Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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