I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Randomize
