hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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