Just fell off a train. Bad.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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