Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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