I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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