and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
if only i could text you this smell
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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