3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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