ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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