At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
