They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
